Wiping The Slate Clean - Forgiveness After Cheating
Cheating spells the end for most relationships, but there are definite ways to work through it. When you or your partner have cheated on each other, trust and forgiveness will be hard to come by. There are techniques you can use to get past unfaithfulness, and to get your boyfriend to forgive you for cheating.
Starting with a clean slate is always the best move, no matter how the situation occured. If the cheating is over and you're looking to move past what happened, getting your boyfriend to wipe the slate clean will provide you with the best chance of success. While you can never erase what happened in the past, you can both choose to start over again - building a future relationship cleanly and neatly. The best way to do this is by sweeping aside the ruins of your past relationship and starting on a fresh new foundation upon which to build.
Starting a New Story Together - Your First Blank Page
When you get back together after cheating, your partner will be wary of what's already happened. This is natural, and it's okay for him to feel that way. What's not okay though, is for him to continually punish you for it. In getting back together with you ex, the two of you have decided to make a second go of things. When you both did that, you essentially agreed to wipe the slate clean and judge each other only on the actions moving forward.
Before you can begin writing a new story however, you'll both need to air your grievances. No one should supress anything here... whatever feelings or emotions may be bothering you need to get addressed by your boyfriend. Similarly, and fears or problems he might have need to be addressed by you. The two of you need to do this constructively and maturely, without placing blame on each other. Also keep in mind that if you are the one who cheated on your ex boyfriend, it's your job to assure him that such a thing will never happen again. He needs to believe this fully in order to move forward, and more importantly, to trust you again.
In getting back together you may have ignored certain bad aspects of your break up. That's okay, because it was a necessary part of feeling comfortable again. But now that you've decided to date your ex again, and he's decided to take you back, the two of you need to hash out whatever differences you have - once and for all - so that you can move forward in a positive direction without any lingering baggage from the past.
Talking To Your Boyfriend - And Listening To Him
Once you're ready to sit down and talk together, make sure you do it right. Don't be afraid to bring up any concerns of fears you might have, and encourage your exboyfriend to do the same. Talk to each other about what happened - not only about the cheating, but about any other problems you may have had with the relationship that kept it from being as strong as it should've. That being said, do NOT blame those issues for the fact that you cheated on your boyfriend. There may have been factors that led to the downfall of the relationship, but you need to accept full responsibility for being unfaithful to him.
Make certain you allow your boyfriend to speak openly about everything. If you interrupt him or cut him off, he might leave the conversation thinking he didn't fully get his say. Also, try to stick to the major issues that have affected your romance. This means you shouldn't be nitpicking or nagging him over every little pet peeve you have... the goal here is to be constructive, not put your ex on the defensive or try to figure out who's "fault" everything was.
Starting Over As a Couple - Getting Past The Infidelity
Cheating leads to break ups very often because of one single word: trust. Many people can eventually forgive a partner for the physical act of cheating, but are too scared to continue the relationship for fear of being cheated on again. Because you've broken your boyfriend's trust, he's going to be guarded and wary of any future that involves trusting you.
Giving him a genuine, heartfelt apology is always a good first step when it comes to getting your ex back. By accepting responsibility for being unfaithful, you're placing the blame where it should be - squarely on your shoulders. Make sure you tell him you know how wrong it was, and that you're sorry for how bad it made him feel. You were never out to hurt him, and he probably knows this. But he also wants to feel that you're legitimately sorry for cheating... and not just sorry for getting caught.
Moving forward with a new relationship requires that your boyfriend trusts you again. This trust won't come all at once, but it can be earned over time if he's willing to keep an open mind. Be patient with him, and be prepared to give extra reassurance when it comes to him being insecure about your whereabouts from time to time. This doesn't give him a license to stalk you or map out your daily schedule 24/7, but if you love and want to be with him you should be giving your boyfriend some emotional leeway.
Forgiveness - A Necessary Part of Getting Back With Your Ex
Winning back your boyfriend after cheating is only half the battle. Unless you earn his forgiveness for what happened, your relationship will only be temporary, and another breakup isn't too far off.
Whether or not your ex forgives you is up to him. If he's taking you back, the good news is that he must love and care for you. Wanting to piece his broken relationship back together isn't enough though... he needs to truly forgive you as well. If he doesn't, your new relationship will be marred by resentment and bitterness over what happened. Your boyfriend will emotionally and verbally batter you over what you did to him, channeling his anger into making you feel guilty. Whenever you fight or argue, he'll use your infidelity as a trump card no matter what the original disagreement was about. This is unfair and wrong, and will eventually doom your relationship.
If your boyfriend is eternally going to chastise you for what happened in the past, you have no future. If he's going to hold your cheating over your head all the time, you'll never get out from under it. This is why total forgiveness must be given the moment you begin your new relationship. Try not to think of it as getting back together, but more of putting the old relationship to bed and beginning a brand new one from scratch. Only be giving yourselves a fresh start and a brand new outlook can you recapture the magic of being together and start building a future on a totally clean slate. And this goes for you as well as him.
Once a Cheater Always a Cheater?
A lot of people swear by the above saying, and in many cases it's probably true. Still, if you and your exboyfriend have decided to give things a second try, you need to abandon the idea that a cheater can never change his or her ways. By making the commitment to each other a second time, you're effectively agreeing to try again. And you can't do that if you're going to keep judging your ex - or he's going to keep on judging you - on past mistakes and indiscretions.
Does your ex boyfriend want you back? Let him know he has you, but also let him know he shouldn't sabotage any chance at your future together by throwing past sins in your face. The same goes for you of course: anything you ex might've done during the relationship or even during the break... you can't hold him accountable for those things if you want to start cleanly again. Resenting each other will always lead to breaking up again, and bitterness is never healthy for a relationship.
Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Forgive You For Cheating
If you're having trouble getting your ex to the point where he forgives you for being unfaithful, don't worry. There's a lot of help on this exact subject, all geared toward helping you get back together after cheating.
The two resources below both specialize in getting your ex past his current thought process and bringing you back together. Check them out, because they're equally great at repairing a relationship broken by infidelity:
Bring Back Lost Love by Cucan Pemo
Recognized worldwide for his incredible seminars, author Cucan Pemo shows you exactly how to prevent and reverse your break up before your ex's decision to end things becomes final.
His potent 4-step strategy is easy to follow, instantly downloadable, and within minutes you could be using it to bring your boyfriend mentally, emotionally, and physically back to you.
Pull Your Ex Back by Ryan Hall
This breakup resource is designed to teach you the special tactics and techniques necessary to get your ex back no matter what your current situation. It concentrates on special circumstances like infidelity and cheating, as well as ways to positively affect your exboyfriend's feelings and emotions toward you... all without him even knowing it.
For more information on what to do if your infidelity caused your break up, check out our detailed guide to Getting Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him.
When unfaithful to a boyfriend you love, knowing the right words goes a long way toward getting him back. To learn exactly what to do, be sure to read up on our guide to What To Say After You Get Caught Cheating.
To learn how to get your ex interested in you again, read Making Your Ex Want You.
- Winning Him Back - How To Make Your First Moves
- How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You
- Things You Can Do To Get Your Ex Back Quickly
- How To Know What Your Ex Boyfriend Is Feeling
- How To Get Back Your Boyfriend When He's Dating Another Girl
- Your Ex Just Wants To Be Friends - What To Do
- Winning Your Boyfriend Back After You Cheated
- 6 Things That Will Make Your Ex Want You Again
- Biggest Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back
- How To Wipe The Slate Clean After You Cheated
- Making Your Exboyfriend Jealous To Get Him Back
- Does My Ex Still Love Me? Take Our Ex Boyfriend QUIZ to Find Out!
- The Reunion Date: Meeting With or Seeing Your Ex Boyfriend
- My Exboyfriend Hasn't Called - Can I Call Him?
- Can I Still Get My Boyfriend Back if We Have No Contact?
- Common Mistakes That Push Your Ex Away
- Boyfriend Wants a Break? Learn the Reasons Why He Wants Time Apart
- 500 of the World's Best Kept Sexual Secrets
- 300 Creative Dates For Winning Your Guy Back
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