Getting Your Boyfriend Back - Your First Moves
Winning back a boyfriend who broke up with you can be hard, especially in the beginning. The feelings and emotions you go through right after being dumped can range from quiet contemplation to total despair. Knowing what to do first can be very confusing. But if you want to repair your relationship, you'll need to calm down and approach the situation with a level head. Below you'll find a list of basic opening moves you should consider if you want to get back together with an ex-boyfriend.
Don't Fight The Break Up
It's the biggest, best move you can make after a guy breaks up with you, but by the time you read this you might think it's already too late. Fighting with your boyfriend over his decision to end the relationship is one of the worst moves you can make, but it's also the first thing most women do upon realizing their romance is coming to an end.
You have to understand that your boyfriend made the decision to break up with you way before he sat down to talk to you about it. Although it's new to you, it's not new to him - he's been thinking about it for quite some time. Any argument you can give him to stay together... he's already prepared for. Anything you can say is only going to be like fighting with him, because it's rubbing abrasively against the decision he's already made. When you finally walk away, his last impressions will be of that one last battle - that one final time that you argued against him.
While it goes against your instinct to remain silent here, doing just that will go a long way toward earning your ex boyfriend's respect. This will be key to getting him back again later on down the road. You won't look desperate or needy, he'll remember that you approach the situation maturely and also a lot differently than he expected. Ironically enough, the odds of getting your ex to date you again go up every time you do something he totally doesn't expect.
Agree To Whatever Separation He Suggests
Another amazing technique to get your boyfriend to question the breakup is by agreeing with whatever type of separation he suggests. No matter what picture he had in his mind of your reaction to his news, he totally doesn't expect you to agree with him. This will throw him for a tremendous loop, and he won't know how to handle it. You've just taken away half the ammunition he brought with him to this discussion, and you actually filled him with self-doubt. Up until this moment, your ex believed the breakup would be totally one-sided. You just made it two-sided, and that hurts.
Agreeing with the breakup might seem to go against logic... after all your goal is to stay together. However, need to realize that your relationship ended the moment your boyfriend broke up with you. Trying to save it now is pointless. Instead of fighting to keep your romance from breaking up, the best technique to staying together involves letting the breakup happen so that your ex gets a chance to see what his life will be like without you in it. Until he gets a glimpse of loneliness, he's only going to keep suggesting that the two of you break up. Every time he's mad at you, he's going to threaten you with walking away. To combat this, giving him a taste of being alone can really make your ex see things from a different perspective.
Your boyfriend definitely won't like it when you agree with his decision to break up. Although it seems to be what he's asked for, his ego really wants you to fight him tooth and nail. Telling them it's okay and that you agree to the separation is almost like a preemptive strike - one that you yourself make against the relationship. Your boyfriend will want to know what's wrong, and why you feel this way. He'll be more curious than ever before, and will begin to doubt his grasp of how you feel. When the two of you go your separate ways, he'll start to wonder if breaking up with you was the right thing to do. This is of course, exactly what you want.
By you accepting the breakup, your boyfriend will actually feel inadequate. He'll question himself. He'll need to know why, and at what point you began feeling differently toward him. He'll also be faced with the startling fact that even if he wanted to change his mind right now, you might not take him back. This will scare him more than anything else.
What To Say When Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You
When your boyfriend begins his breakup speech, let him talk. Don't interrupt him, or try to stop him - let him say everything he needs to say. Then, you want to keep things very simple. Tell him something along the lines of:
"Hey listen, I agree with you. You're right that things have been pretty bad. Maybe we should go our separate ways, like you said. I wish you the best."
Once you say these things, don't stick around. Don't answer questions, or debate the good and bad parts of the relationship. You want to act as if your boyfriend just said something that you yourself have been thinking for quite some time. Act somewhat relieved by his annoucement, but not overly happy. Then politely wish him well, and leave before things can get awkward.
If you can accomplish the above scenario, you've effectively seized total control over the breakup. You've completely turned the tables on your ex-boyfriend's way of thinking, and he might push for more answers on your end. Don't give him any. The sooner you can get out of there, the more you'll worry him, and the easier it will be to get back together again.
Done correctly, this type of preemptive strike can even stop your breakup before it happens. Your goal should be to leave you ex-boyfriend dumbfounded, confused, and wanting to know exactly what's going on in your head.
What You Should Do If The Breakup Already Happened
While the above method is great, most women reading this will already have missed the chance to go along with the break up. Whether your boyfriend broke up with you yesterday or a few weeks ago, you might think that opportunity is long gone. The truth is however, that it's not. Even though your break up already occured, there are some great methods and techniques for putting your ex-boyfriend into exactly the same mindset as in the scenario above.
The trick in this case, is to get your ex-boyfriend to believe that you're ready to move on without him. In order to do this, you'll need to withdraw from the situation for a while. When you ex hasn't heard from you in a couple of weeks, you can reach out to him by writing a very short hand-written note. In it you'll explain how you agree with his decision to end things. Tell him it was the right thing to do, and that you see things from a much different perspective now. Then wish your ex the best, and end the note before it gets longer than three sentences. Keeping your note this short is absolutely critical to its success.
When your exboyfriend receives this letter, it's going to make him extremely curious. He'll wonder what happened to change your opinion of the whole relationship. He'll also wonder if you found someone new, because it certainly seems as if you're moving on and no longer care about getting back together. The fact that you stopped chasing him will be a little disappointing, as well as a blow to his ego. Guys like to think that an ex-girlfriend can't live without them. Even though he's the one who ended things, the last thing he wants to see is for you to move on in a successful new relationship while his own love life is at a standstill.
There are other techniques to make your ex boyfriend both miss you and want you back. Learn what they are, because the more of them you can accomplish, the greater the interest you'll generate from your ex-boyfriend.
Making Your Boyfriend Miss You and Want You Back
After a breakup, most women will do anything and everything to regain the attention and love of an ex-boyfriend. The funny part is that the less you do, the better your chances of getting your boyfriend to miss and think about you. In this case, silence is golden. When you have the least amount of contact with your ex-boyfriend, that's when he'll most wonder where you are and what you're up to.
Becoming a mystery to your ex is one of the best ways to get back in his head. The most important thing to remember is that if you're always in plain sight, your ex-boyfriend never gets the chance to miss you. In an effort to be seen, most girls will make themselves overly available and try to maintain constant contact with the guy who just broke up with them. Some even try to play a friendship role, thinking that if they can stay close with their ex-boyfriend, they can somehow work their way back into being a girlfriend again. Being friends with an ex rarely works, because the guy gets the comfort of still maintaining a relationship with someone he cares about, but without the burden of having to remain monogamous. In this case there's no incentive for him to get back together, but it's often too late by the time the girl realizes this.
The best way to make your ex want you again is pretty simple: disappear from his radar. Breaking all contact with your ex boyfriend is essential, and while it may not work right away, after a few weeks of total silence your ex is going to be very, very curious. Not only do you need to break communication, but you need to do it on every level. No phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, and no showing up to see him in any way, shape, or form. As your ex-boyfriend's curiosity gets the best of him, he's going to start looking for you.
Getting Your Ex Boyfriend To Call or Contact You
A girl who keeps running after her ex-boyfriend will always end up chasing him away. For this reason you need to stop hounding your ex, and let him come back to you. Even if right now that seems like an impossible task, there are some excellent ways you can get started.
These techniques will not only get back the attention of your ex-boyfriend, but will quickly have him chasing after you, instead of the other way around.
Additional Opening Moves For Reversing Your Break Up
Try to understand that the first things you do after breaking up are the most crucial moves you make. How you handle the end of your relationship plays a critical role in whether or not you'll get back together with your exboyfriend. Making mistakes right now can have catastrophic consequences later on, because you'll need all of your ex's respect to win him back. This is why every move you make, especially in the early stages of the break up, is extremely important.
There are two vital resources that can help you handle this critical time. Both of the relationship guides shown below specialize in the opening moves you should be making immediately after your boyfriend breaks up with you.
The Magic of Making Up by T.W. Jackson
Widely considered THE authority when it comes to repairing a break up, T.W.'s approach is geared toward obtaining instant results.
Bring Back Lost Love by Cucan Pemo
The proven 4-step strategy detailed by Cucan Pemo has already helped tens of thousands of couples reverse their break up and move forward with strong, healthy relationships.
Learn how to get your ex to come back to you by reversing his thinking, and to prevent future break ups by recognizing the signs and signals that your relationship is in trouble. Step by step, you'll be shown exactly what to do and when to do it.
Okay, let's start working on how to make your ex boyfriend miss you.
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