How To Know When Your Ex Still Has Feelings For You
In trying to get back your ex-boyfriend, what you say is just as important as when you say it. Any type of communication you have with your ex will be dependent upon timing, and if you try to approach him at the wrong time you're going to get bad results. But before you can take steps toward your ex-boyfriend again, it always helps to know exactly how he feels about you.
Reading Your Exboyfriend
Reading your ex-boyfriend will be harder to do when you're no longer together. Post-breakup, his feelings will be a lot more guarded and his emotions a lot more hidden. Add that to the fact that you'll rarely be seeing or hearing from him, and recognizing the signs that your ex still has feelings for you becomes a much more difficult task. False hope and wishful thinking can also damage your chances for positive contact with your ex. Similarly, mixed signals can result from misreading your ex-boyfriend's intentions, turning seemingly innocent situations into problem ones. Your goal should be to approach your ex-boyfriend at the best possible moments, at times when he's most receptive to what you have to say.
"How Can I Tell How My Ex Feels About Me?"
When you ex first breaks up with you, he'll avoid you for a while. But after he's considered things and starts looking back in your direction, there are definite signs and signals your ex-boyfriend will give off when he is looking at you again in a positive light. Understanding what these signals are and recognizing when they occur is a critical part of winning your boyfriend back. Most of them will be verbal cues, and you can usually tell by his tone of voice how your ex boyfriend is reacting to you. Some of these signs however, will be a lot more subtle. So subtle in fact, that your ex might not even know he's making them. In this case you'll need to interpret his body language, and the actions he takes toward you after the breakup in order to determine when the best time to initiate contact may be.
Interpreting Your Ex Boyfriend's Words and Actions
Examining how your ex-boyfriend treats you after the end of your relationship can go a long way toward showing you when the time is right to approach him again. If your ex-boyfriend has still not called you or dropped you a friendly e-mail, it may still be too soon for contact. But if you're back on friendly terms and the two of you have already spoken or exchanged e-mails or text messages, interpreting the results of that communication can give you a good idea of how your ex-boyfriend feels about you.
Does he sound excited to hear from you when you talk to him? Does he take a long time to respond to your messages, or does he write you back fairly quickly? If you happen to see him, is his body language evasive, or does he seem comfortable around you in ways similar to when the two of you were dating?
All these things are important indicators as to how your boyfriend currently sees you. If you avoided being desperate or needy during the process of the breakup, and didn't fight him too hard on his decision to end things, there's a good chance you maintained his respect. This will always speed up the process of getting back together with him.
Anytime your ex-boyfriend is still on friendly terms with you, it's a good sign that he still wants you around. He may also be encouraging contact so you can keep tabs on you. Getting him back is not far off, if you know the right things to do that will put yourself back in your ex's head and get him thinking about the relationship again. If the breakup ended badly, and there was a lot of fighting and arguing that went on when the two of you split up, the length of time your boyfriend remains angry at you is a big indication of how much he really cares about and loves you. Anger is okay, because it shows he still has feelings.
Indifference however, is always a bad sign. When your boyfriend doesn't seem to care what you do at all, you'll need to take more drastic steps toward pulling him back to you. In this case, there are some unique methods that will get him to care about the relationship once more. Learn what they are, so you can get started immediately on the road to bringing your ex's feelings and emotions back to the surface.
Email Is a Sign That Your Ex Is Thinking About You
An ex-boyfriend ready to move on from your relationship will drop off contact rather quickly. As he pursues other interests it will get harder and harder to stay in touch with. E-mail however, is one way an ex-boyfriend will try to hold onto some semblance of your relationship - even if he's doing it from behind a thin veil of friendship. An ex-boyfriend who is still e-mailing you, talking to you through Facebook, or going back and forth with text messages has not totally let go of your romance. This is a good thing, and there are ways for you to capitalize on it.
When you receive e-mail directly after the breakup, you still must maintain the no contact approach to hearing from your ex-boyfriend. During this critical time you shouldn't be writing back or even acknowledging his messages, because you both need time apart to reflect on what happened between you. More importantly, you need this time to miss each other. That being said, if you've already reestablished contact with your ex and he's still keeping in touch with you electronically, he may be extending an olive branch or opening an avenue of communication for the purposes of getting back together again. Knowing his intentions won't always be easy, but you can some of the things that are going through his mind just by his email.
An ex-boyfriend who truly wants to just be friends with you will talk in a more formal, business-like sense when it comes to sending you e-mail. But if your ex is getting flirty, bringing up old times, or trying hard to get you to laugh at things, there's a good chance he's interested in renewing your relationship. You need to encourage him to continue without overly extending yourself. Fixing your breakup may require meeting your ex-boyfriend halfway, but before you can take those steps you'll need to know what his true intentions are.
What To Say When Your Ex Boyfriend Calls You
When repairing a breakup, one of the most difficult things to do is to get your ex to call you. Every girl who has ever been dumped has sat around waiting for that phone to ring, and when it does they often don't want to say. Not having a plan or saying the wrong thing can be worse than not even picking up the phone. So when your ex-boyfriend calls you, you need to know exactly how you're going to handle it.
No matter what emotions you feel when he finally calls, you need to give your ex-boyfriend the impression that he just interrupted you in the middle of something important. You don't want to sound too anxious to hear from him, and you don't want to pick up the phone on the first ring. Be glad that he called, but not overly enthusiastic. Let him tell you why he initiated contact before you say too much of anything. Allowing your ex-boyfriend to do most of the talking is also a good idea here, because it lets him get to the root of the phone call and it prevents you from making too many mistakes.
Again, if it's only been a few days or weeks after the breakup occurred, you don't even have to answer the phone. In fact, you shouldn't. Allowing your ex boyfriend to leave your message is a good way of learning why he's calling you without having to commit to answering him. It also gives you a chance to prepare for what you'll say in response. The more you can make your ex-boyfriend wonder where you are, the more curious he'll be about you. If your ex leaves a message, call him back a day or two later instead of right away. This will perpetuate the illusion that you've moved on from him, and will shake his confidence in the decision to be apart from you.
What To Do When Your Ex Stops By To See You
Anytime you ex-boyfriend stops by it's a huge sign that he's still interested. His motives may be unclear, but he's definitely been thinking about you. In fact, you've been on his mind to the point where simple phone call or e-mail just won't do, and he had to show up to see you in person. The situation is a little more difficult for you, because you might not be prepared for what to tell him. Again it's best to let him do most of the talking, because eventually you'll get the real reason for the visit.
Some guys will stop by just to see you because it makes them feel better. Others are bad with phones and e-mail, and would rather talk you face to face. And then there's also the possibility that your ex is looking for a physical hookup, in which case you need to be very careful that he's not using you for sex. You'll know when your ex-boyfriend is being genuine, or when he's just saying the things that he thinks you want to hear. You can also examine his body language, and the way he speaks to you during the conversation. If he's nervous, that's a pretty good sign that you've already rattled his confidence in the breakup.
If your ex-boyfriend begins to show interest in you again, or talks about getting back together, try to take things slow. Don't be that girl who jumps at the first sign of an ex-boyfriend looking to make up. Don't be overly reluctant, but it's always best to make your ex come back to you in a situation like this. It will cement the future of your relationship together when he believes he wanted to get back together just a little bit more than you did.
False Hope, Mixed Signals, and Ex Boyfriend Confusion
When working toward getting back your ex-boyfriend, it's always great to see things in a positive way. Optimism should not be confused however, with false hope. Wishful thinking on your part may lead to mistakes in communicating and dealing with your ex-boyfriend. Before you make any moves at all, you'll need to know where you stand within your ex-boyfriend's post breakup world.
For some great ideas on understanding ex boyfriend contact, visit our Review Page. The breakup resources located there can help you interpret the signs and signals your ex-boyfriend may be giving off when he's ready to get back together again.
If, after the breakup, your ex-boyfriend has placed you into the role of a friend, you'll need to get out of it rather quickly. If this is the case, check out our detailed guide on What To Do When Your Ex Boyfriend Wants To Be Friends.
Finally, if you're having trouble reestablishing a connection with your ex-boyfriend again, check out Meeting With Your Ex Boyfriend When You Want Him Back.
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